Valentine’s Day is coming up this Monday, and somehow all this day ever reminds me of is the awkward insecurities I suffered as a child at school. Red, white, and pink construction paper hearts always lined the walls of the classroom and decorated shoe boxes sat proudly on each student’s desk just begging to have valentines placed in them. And then there were the bags. Oh, the bags. Filled with valentines that each classmate planned on handing out to everyone he or she liked, while at the same time leaving certain boxes empty to assure that everyone else knew who wasn’t liked.
And then came the time for everyone to hand them out, usually right before lunch. Children ran around screaming, pushing those awful things into the slots of their friends’ boxes, while at the same time deliberately skipping by the boxes of those they wished to reject.
My box was never quite empty. But it was never quite full either. I was always one of those kids who never quite fit in. And I was always much more painfully aware of the kids who didn’t give me valentines that those who did. Kind of sad, isn’t it?
Looking back, I wonder why we as humans think that way. Why do we always focus on those who treat us with disdain, rather than those who treat us with kindness?
Unfortunately, it was a habit that carried on long into my life. I am somewhat of a cynic. But now I have a beautiful young daughter, and I plan to do my best to teach her not to care so much about what others think of her, because by avoiding the pain of rejection, I’m hoping she can acquire early the self-respect and confidence that it took me almost my entire life to get.
Do we ever as adults truly forget hardships we went through as children? How do those hardships carry on and affect us later in our lives? How does the way you’re treated in school, especially on those ridiculous days such as Valentine’s, affect your self-esteem in your adult life?
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